"Blue"

The sky is the kind of perfect, endless blue that belongs to summer alone.

The air hums with heat, the scent of saltwater mingling with sunscreen and the faint trace of coconut. Waves crash against the shore in a slow, rhythmic dance, each crest of water a mirror of the sun overhead. It’s the kind of day that makes you feel free, alive. The world feels light, full of possibilities, but all she can feel is the heavy ache of absence.

She’s surrounded by laughter and chatter, the sounds of people enjoying their perfect summer days. The ocean stretches out endlessly before her, and somewhere in the distance, she can hear the soft beats of No Other Lover’s music drifting through the air, as if it’s part of the scenery itself, chilled and carefree, just like the mood of everyone around her.

But inside, she’s aching.

It should be a perfect day, one that makes you feel like you’re living in a postcard. Everybody else seems to be enjoying it, glowing from the sun, laughing with friends, sipping drinks from tall glasses, their ice cubes clinking in time with the waves. The heat wraps itself around her like a blanket, but she can’t shake the chill that’s settled deep inside her.

She takes a long sip of her cold drink, her beautiful eyes skimming the crowd, her heart sinking a little more with each passing second. Her lovers' absence presses against her chest, a weight she can’t ignore. 

Her fingers graze the edge of her phone, an unconscious gesture. A longing to speak to him. The thought drifts through her mind, but the hesitation comes just as quickly. 

Instead, she turns away, closing her eyes against the bright, relentless sunlight. The warmth of the boat beneath her and the sound of the waves should be soothing, should pull her into this moment, but it only makes the absence sharper.

She leans back, letting her sunglasses slide down just enough to see the world through a soft haze. The boat rocks gently beneath her, and she imagines what it would feel like if he were beside her now, leaning into her, the warmth of his body close. Maybe he’d be singing along to the song, his voice a little off-key but somehow perfect in its imperfection. Maybe he’d pull her close, wrap his arms around her, and for a brief, fleeting second, they’d escape into the moment together.

But he’s not here.

She brushes a loose strand of hair from her face and sighs, her breath catching in her chest. There’s nothing she can do about it.

The music shifts, and a familiar tune fills the space, the same song that always seemed to play in the background of their time together. It takes her back to that first evening they spent together, the way he looked at her like he was seeing something no one else could see. His laugh, the spark in his eyes when he pulled her close, and how every word felt charged with the promise of something more. Every touch was a declaration, a quiet promise of the joy he brought into her world.

She can still feel the warmth of his lips on hers, the way his hands would wander over her skin like he was trying to memorize her. It all felt so perfect then. So effortless. Like they were both exactly where they were meant to be.

Now, everything feels a little muted. The sun is still warm, the breeze still carries that salty tang, but it all feels so… hollow.

The crowd continues their carefree chatter, and she’s pulled back into the present. The world is still turning, still spinning in its chaotic rhythm, but she’s stuck in the memory of him. In the memory of them.

Her heart skips a beat, and for a moment, she wonders if he’s thinking of her too. She closes her eyes again, trying to let the warm, sun-soaked air fill the empty space inside her. Could he be feeling this too? Could he be missing her, or is she just caught in a moment of longing that’s out of her control?

She takes another long sip of her drink, the coolness a contrast to the heat that’s building inside her. The music shifts once again, and she lets herself drift with the melody, letting the rhythm of the song wrap around her like a cocoon. Maybe it’s not so bad being alone in this moment. Maybe it’s a chance to remember what it felt like to love, even if it’s just the memory of it.

And as the song plays on, she smiles softly, letting herself imagine him beside her once more. Because in her heart, he’s never really gone.

She’s just blue without him.

No Other Lover

xoxo